My Sweet Love

Close your eyes,

Sleep tight my sweet child,

Tonight everything is going to be alright.

Hold them close,

A kiss goodnight,

For my precious little one.

You opened up your heart,

And the world came crashing down.

Each step was a blistering journey,

Reality came arriving in a hurry.

You wanted to keep trying,

You never wanted to question why.

Your head lifted high with a smile on your face

As you continued on with the race.

But every high will have to end,

With innocence dragged along with it.

You learned to open your eyes,

And the world was not very nice.

Each step was a blistering journey,
Depression came arriving in a hurry.
You drowned yourself to hide the pain,
Just as long as you could smile through the rain.
It didn't matter what you wanted,
As long as the world saw what it wanted.
A crooked mask with a broken grin,
It was all a show to you.

The current kept pulling you deeper into the edge,
And I tried hard to bring you back to me.
But further and further you were swept away,
Until you were too far away ...

Some day you will return,
And I promise I will never let you go.
I'll protect you from the darkness of the world,
So you can smile once again,
Honey, won't you come home again?
Please come home to me.

Close your eyes,

Sleep tight my sweet love,

Everything is going to be alright.

Hold them close,

A kiss goodbye,

For my precious little one.

Chapter 1: City of Dreams

Starros used to be known as the city of dreams. The founder of the town was a religious man who believed that the alignment of the stars were messages from the Gods. Like the star of Bethlehem, he believed that the constellations were a map to indicate the birth of the perfect land. It would be an everlasting city, a name that would be remembered throughout history. Those who sow found favour and blessing from the Gods; the world would find refuge in the city of Starros.

There were criticisms about his theory, people who would scream blasphemy at his name. They felt like he was mocking their beliefs, and that he wanted to bring false hope to destroy the minds of the innocent and weak. Some called him idealistic, some called him mad, but many regarded him as a messenger from the Gods. Despite the contradictions that were brought up over and over again, people wanted to believe in him; the world needed a hope to hold onto. Darkness seemed to lurk in every corner and the people wanted a light, we needed it. 

Everyone from all over the world swarmed to Starros to find success. Anyone you can imagine, from the young to the old, fought hard to get there, and among the waves of applications was me. I was a young fresh graduate that wanted to pursue the psychiatric world. I loved the intricacy of the human brain and wanted the opportunity to study the greatest minds in the world. Unfortunately, it was never an ideal dream in my town. We had a small population, and most of us were conditioned into careers that were deemed as acceptable; I was an outlier. 

There were very little support when I brought up my plan to head to Starros. My parents were disappointed, my partner left and my friends thought I was crazy. “Aren't you happy here?” they would ask. “Why can't you be thankful with what you have? Find a realistic path and you will realize how much happier you will be.” My parents would not sent me off after I received my approval into Starros. I still remembered the envelope on my desk, the seal broken with the letter sprawled across the floor. The anger on my mother’s face when she realized I went behind her back. Even my own siblings started to avoid me, but I refused to let my family hold me back. Some of my friends were nice enough to wish me luck as I walked past the airport gates during my departure. Was I nervous? Very. But I needed to believe that my dreams could be achieved, and with enough will, anything was possible. Starros was placed on a pedestal, and I knew if I wanted to be someone, I had to be among the city of dreams.

---

For you B

Curiosity,
Happiness,
Dreams,
Laughter,
Paradise,
Serenity,
Trust,
Love.

Bitterness,
Anger,
Hatred,
Paranoia,
Betrayal,
War,
Bloodshed,
Murder.

No one ever wins in a battle like this.
We pretend to act like it never mattered.
It was easier to close your eyes and say whatever it took.
It was funner to break the walls and shove it through his skull.
It was better to grin through chaos and laugh as hell let loose.
We are all blinded by a false light called hope,
But I see the truth.
There is a darkness and I am living in it. 
I do not need weaknesses in my life, I do not need you.

Have you ever wondered why you are always second place? 

Because you are never good enough.
Be happy I don't have the strength to fight anymore.
Pathetic. 

Movie Night with Deadpool

Today, I had the opportunity to watch Deadpool in theatres! Wee! 

Overall, it was a good movie. If I had to give a star rating, it would be a 7 out of 10.

It was a humorous show, with lots of laughs in between. Compared to most Marvel movies, it did not have a serious element to it. There were sad scenes, but they were never too dramatic. Generally, there were a lot of inappropriate jokes shoved in every corner, and if you enjoy that, you would like the movie. I believe the best word to describe Deadpool would be cheeky. It was cute. It was cliche, but that is to be expected. Nonetheless, I would recommend the movie to those looking for comedy, and would appreciate sarcastic sexual humour. 

Unfortunately for me, I was not able to eat any snacks during the movie because of my wisdom tooth extraction from a few days ago. So, my friend enjoyed the popcorn and candy for the both of us. How fantastic. We did have some sushi after, which was absolutely amazing! It was affordable and quite yummy. 

Goodbye Saturday. Hello February 14th. 

Wisdom Tooth Removal

A few days ago, I made the decision to remove all of my wisdom tooth! It was a spur of a moment decision, where I just decided, why not? The dentist has been bugging me about it since last year, but procrastination is truly an incredible thing. Since this week is reading week, where students get a week off from school, it felt like it was the right time to do so.

I woke up at 8:20 am and made it for my appointment at 8:45 am. I was groggy, and was quite nervous. My parents felt the need to tell me all these horrible stories about people getting really sick and people being in a lot of pain, which obviously made me feel much better! The most scary thing about the extraction would probably be the freezing of my gums. The needle was humongous, and seeing it pierce through my gums was not pleasant. Most of the time, I closed my eyes, whining as it did hurt quite a bit. I remember feeling very swollen and numb; for a few hours, my mouth did not exist on my face. Oddly enough, the procedure only took about 45 minutes, the injection taking most of the time. My dentist removed three tooth in 5 minutes, and the last one took 10 minutes. It was surprisingly very quick.

This is the fourth day since the removal, and I am feeling great. Fortunately, I did not swell up too much or was in much pain. It was an uncomfortable few days as I kept tasting blood for a while, but after sucking on candy and drinking a lot of water, I started to get used to it. Eating was difficult, but I was adamant to consume solid food. It was still a nervous process as the blood clots were threatening to pop! (tmi?) In addition, I was not allowed to exercise, which really kept me off the edge. Smiling and talking was also difficult, which was ridiculous as I tend to smile and talk way too much!

Overall, it was an interesting experience. Once again, I was very blessed to avoid the pain that generally accompanied with the procedure. The ability to eat again has never been so wonderful! It is only when you cannot chew, when you realize how much you miss it so much.

Introduction

The amount of times I have told myself I would stick to a blog is endless.

Well.. to be honest, I did have a blog that lasted for almost three years prior to this. However due to many issues, I had to put it down and it really broke my heart. I felt like a part of me died a little because I enjoyed being able to write my thoughts and feelings. I even had story ideas, and it felt concrete being able to place them into words. During the three years, I learned how to express my feelings in more creative ways, and it became my definition of art.

To begin again feels rather odd. I have not written creatively in years, and it is uncomfortable attempting to do so once again.

However, I do not want to lose this part of myself - this joy of writing. I was never the best writer, but I enjoyed doing it. A lot of stories have occurred since the last time I wrote, but now is the beginning of a new chapter.

Welcome to my world. Hope you enjoy your stay.